Fraser’s arms felt like lead. Just keeping his head up cost him every ounce of willpower. He heard the murmur of voices, but it didn’t mean anything to him.
He was consciously aware of every breath he sucked in, but his heart was hammering away in his chest and there never seemed enough air to calm his pulse. Oddly enough he couldn’t find it in him to be disturbed by this.
They waited until Sunday night to take a look around the Skydeep just to be on the safe side. Cleaning personnel should have left the building sometime around noon and there was no business that evening. At least not officially. So even if someone was doing any last-minute arrangements they should have gone by the time Ray and Fraser arrived there.
They used the entrance of the garage to attract the least possible attention. The building was dark and quiet and Ray breathed a sigh of relief. He would’ve had a hard time explaining his being there had Jack or some other of the staff been around.
Fraser pulled the little satchel of equipment out of his hat—Ray didn’t even ask—and set to work. It looked amazingly simple… so Ray probably couldn’t have done it. But Fraser’s fingers were steady as he removed the whole panel and began following different colored wires into the wall. Ray figured it was very unlikely that the thing could explode so he left him to it and went to take a look at the private booths.
He flung the curtains open wide, one after the other. Once done he stared with a certain amount of disappointment at the three little booths. The left and right ones were a little smaller, just one big leather seat that stretched around a table with mirror-covered walls where the backrest ended.
And Ray hadn’t really expected them to hold any secret. He had held out some hope about the middle one, though, despite having already caught a glimpse. Unfortunately, it looked much the same close up. It was more of a small room than a booth, but that was the major difference.
You could walk around the leather seat and instead of one big mirror there were several mirrored panels covering the wall, each divided from the next with a tall pillar-like ornament.
“Ray, it’s open.” Fraser had come up to him and was now also studying the partition behind the curtain.
Maybe the locked room was more promising. They went back into the hallway and Fraser reached out to turn the knob and pushed the door open.
“Oh.” Fraser’s surprised sound went well with Ray’s own falling face. The security room; they had found the damn security room. Of course a club this size would have video monitoring and of course it would be locked.
Ray kicked the wall in frustration. Maybe they were completely wrong with this whole drug thing. It had begun as a wild goose chase and when Ray came across the same name from Fraser’s suspicious claim it had seemed a logical conclusion. In reality, they had probably just bet on the wrong horse.
“Ray, did you see any cameras in the club?”
“Uh,” Ray thought about that for a second. “Sure, there’s one in the entrance area and two in the main room, that’s one to the right above the hallway and the other in the back with the tables. And there’s the one down in the garage.”
“What do you mean ‘hm’?”
“There is no watchman on the staff except for the bouncer.”
“No one is watching the recordings of the club. The cameras aren’t even active, at least not outside of business hours; not one tracked our movements when we came in.”
“Maybe it’s just a security standard? They only need it when something happens,” Ray offered.
“Yes, you might be right,” Fraser conceded, but he didn’t look convinced.
He opened the cupboards to look at the tapes that were stocked. They were all labeled according to the camera that had recorded it.
Fraser tapped against a small stack of tapes. “There is a 5th camera, Ray.”
“5th? No way, I would’ve noticed it.”
“Maybe you couldn’t have seen it.”
“You mean it’s hidden?”
“I wouldn’t want to propose any theories without proof, but I think the content of the tape will be conclusive.”
Fraser took the first one from the stack and put it in the player.
The quality of the tape wasn’t what Ray would call state of the art, but it was good enough that someone might enjoy it.
Ray stared at the screen. “I don’t believe it.”
Fraser’s mouth was pressed into a tight line.
It showed a room Ray didn’t know with 4 men inside. The same 4 men that had come to the club last Friday for a session in the VIP lounge. And 3 of them took turns fucking a 5th man, younger than the others and nicely built. Fucking might be too simple a word, Ray thought, as he watched the man getting abused. There were a number of instruments on the wall, for hitting, restraining, and Ray didn’t even want to know for what kind of games.
The man himself was bound and also gagged at first until one of the men decided his mouth could be put to better use.
Ray’s voice sounded rusty when he spoke. “Is that rape?” Because he really wasn’t sure. The man seemed to be enjoying it and yet he remained strangely vacant in everything, his body almost unnaturally accommodating.
Fraser was quiet for a long moment. “I think this is the real reason why Push is distributed in the club.”
Ray stared at him. “You mean they create addicts to use them for… this? So that a few rich guys in the management can buy a night of fun?”
“We don’t actually know that he has been given the drug,” Fraser cautioned.
“But you think he has?”
Fraser inclined his head in acknowledgment. “It paralyzes the body to a certain degree, makes it helpless and pliable because the muscles relax to an exaggerated degree. At the same time it enhances certain sensations, pleasure most of all. I think with the right dosage pain and pleasure would be indistinguishable. But as I said, judging from this evidence we won’t be able to prove anything. Even if we find a tape on which we see the administration of the drug we could only arrest them for illegal drug use.”
Ray gnashed his teeth. “Yeah, they pay a fine and they walk. No, I want to nail them on the full account. Possession, usage, distribution—and if that’s really the case I want to hit them with a rape charge so hard they don’t know their own name anymore.”
Fraser stopped the tape. “I can sympathize with the sentiment.”
Ray’s gaze wandered over the tapes of the hidden room. “Hey!” He had an idea. “What if there’s a tape for one of the men who died of an overdose? That would at least be a strong suggestion, right?”
Fraser nodded slowly. “Yes, I would think so.”
Somewhere in his pockets he had that list… Ray fished in his different pockets until he came up with a scrap of paper. “Here we go.” Ray read the list of dates when the victims had been found.
Fraser shook his head sadly. “The video tapes here are all very recent. I would assume that they take them somewhere else either for safe keeping or editing.”
Ray let his head hang. “What now?”
“I think I know where the room is.”
“You know what?”
“I had my suspicions the first time we were in this hallway, but I couldn’t be sure until I had seen the inside of the private booths.”
“Which were?” Ray asked impatiently.
“The room we have just seen has to be at the back of one of the VIP lounges. I realized that this hallway extends far beyond the actual main room. Since the stairs lead down to the garage the hallway does in fact span the whole building. Where then is the additional space in the main room?”
“Behind the curtains.”
Ray frowned. “But I checked the rooms. There’s nothing there.”
“There has to be. Now that we know what to look for.”
They restored everything to its original condition and Fraser refitted the panel in the wall and then they moved back into the main room.
Fraser looked around the big private booth in the middle with a concentrated frown on his face. His long fingers skimmed the surface of the mirror, pressing now and again, until—
Ray stared in amazement as one of the mirrors opened an inch at the push of Fraser’s hand. It clicked quietly and then the mirror opened, revealing another room behind it.
“Frase, you’ve done it,” Ray exclaimed astonished.
This was the room all right. There was nothing much here. They might have found fingerprints, but they had clear enough proof on the tapes. Ray shuddered as he looked at the chains and whips on the wall and the images from the tape came back to him. The guy probably hadn’t been able to walk for days… if he had survived, Ray thought darkly.
Suddenly a murmur filled the room, coming from far away, but rapidly growing more distinct. Shit. Someone was coming into the club.
Fraser was that one second faster and pulled the mirror-door shut. Frantically, Ray looked around. Why did they always end up in a mess like this?
Fraser murmured something to himself about emergency exits and then decisively flung another piece of drapery away to reveal a second door. “Ray, quick. This should lead outside.”
They scrambled through the door just as Ray heard someone shout: “Hey, why are the curtains open? Who’s there?”
A short hallway followed, leading to another door, this one an old iron one. Ray pulled the door open and found himself in the middle of another alley.
It must’ve been the middle of the night by now, it was pitch black and there was only one flickering street lamp a couple of feet away. How long did that alley go? Too long probably to make it out before someone came looking for them. Fuck, what now?
It dawned on him the moment Fraser opened his mouth. Trust Fraser to find the nearest dumpster. Why did it always have to be him?
“Ray, if you would be so kind.” Fraser held the upper half of the container open in invitation. Ray was about to argue, but even his ears picked up the voice in the hallway ordering others to search the grounds.
With a sigh for good measure, Ray climbed into the dumpster. Fraser followed a second later and the lid fell shut. Breathing through his mouth was the only way to keep from gagging and Ray glared at Fraser because, really, why was it that Fraser always found the next dumpster when they were in need of hiding? Ray’s glare was utterly wasted on the darkness, though, and Fraser remained oblivious to Ray’s dismay.
Half a minute later the door was flung open and two sets of feet thumped over the concrete.
“There’s no one here.”
“No, maybe it was nothing. Could be the cleaning staff forgot to close the curtains when they were done.”
“Yes, possibly. Okay, let’s go back inside.”
Philly and Takeda, Ray thought. The door shut again and when no one came back after a couple of seconds, Fraser lifted the lid of the dumpster.
Ray took a careful whiff. “Ugh, gross. We are not driving all the way back to my place stinking like something died,” Ray declared decisively.
Fraser cocked his head. “All right. What would you propose then?”
“Okay, here’s the deal. We drive to the station which is all of 5 minutes away—”
“Ray, it would take at least 15 minutes—”
“Not the way I drive, it’s 5. And we can catch a shower there and get the report done in one go. Deal?”
“That sounds remarkably expedient, Ray.”
Ray took that as a ‘yes’.
Steam rose up while Ray contemplated the soap bubbles on his hands. He hadn’t really thought about showering with Fraser when he’d come up with the idea of them catching a shower at the 2-7 together.
They had shared countless showers at the precinct after countless incidents in which Fraser had gotten them into something really gross it had just never occurred to him that he was really taking a shower with a naked Benton Fraser.
He’d never really looked and he had never thought Fraser might be interested in looking… now on the other hand…
Ray glanced to the left at Fraser, but the Mountie wasn’t looking at him or even trying to sneak a peek. Ray’s eyes wandered over the expanse of skin that Fraser offered. Wow, really broad shoulders. Sure, he had noticed that Fraser was almost twice his size in the muscle department, but he’d never noticed-noticed it before.
His gaze dropped down, following the line of Fraser’s spine. Taut, full ass—probably the best ass Ray’d ever seen, and the water sluiced down, effortlessly following the curves of Fraser’s ass, and finding its way to strong, firm thighs.
Slowly, Ray’s eyes made the journey back up. Fraser’s nape was the slightest bit red, probably from the steaming water, and Ray’s eyes moved further—until they suddenly met Fraser’s confused glance, half-hidden under sopping-wet bangs.Ray tried a vague smile, kinda non-committal, no-big-deal-kinda smile and turned towards the tiled wall again. That was a safe distance, wasn’t it?
But it wasn’t even a minute later that Ray half-turned again to look at Fraser. He watched the muscles shift underneath the warm skin as Fraser began to spread the lather over his body. Ray watched the stretch and turn of Fraser’s broad back as his arms spread the slick of the soap around. Big, capable hands glided over the wet skin and Ray was mesmerized.
The hands stopped in mid-motion and Fraser coughed politely. Ray’s eyes met Fraser’s bewildered look again and Ray turned a dark red and was about to continue with his own business when it finally caught up with him that other body parts of his were also taking an interest in watching Fraser shower. This was really the wrong moment to salute the Queen despite or especially because of the Canadian present. And Ray knew the exact moment when Fraser noticed it, too.
“Ray, is there a reason for your close obser….” Fraser’s remarkably calm voice trailed off in mid-word as Fraser noticed the state Ray was in. “…vation…” Fraser finished in a dazed-sounding voice.
Ray spun around and resolutely faced the wall in front of him again. Damn, damndamndamn, Ray cursed inside of his head. It didn’t help diminish his erection though. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. There had to be something he could—Fraser’s warm hand settled reassuringly on his shoulder.
“It’s a bodily reaction, Ray. It happens,” Fraser soothed, sounding sympathetic. Ray cracked half a smile. It would’ve been nice of Fraser, being such a good sport about it, if he hadn’t been so hilariously wrong with his assumption.
Seeing that Fraser was into guys and had probably done his fair share of catching a look in public showers meant that he probably wouldn’t freak out if he knew that Ray had gotten a hard-on because he had gotten an eyeful. And Ray kind of liked Fraser’s hand touching him.
Maybe it was time to come clean… just with the attraction part… Fraser could hardly freak out about that, could he?
Hesitantly, Ray shook his head. “Let’s just assume it isn’t without reason, okay?” The water from the shower made the slight tremor in Ray’s voice almost unnoticeable.
He could practically hear Fraser’s confusion behind him. Ray took a deep breath and plunged. “Ever since you told me that you, you know, also go in that direction… I can’t stop looking at you,” he explained, trying not to sound as nervous as he felt.
“Are you saying this is a reaction to…to…” Fraser faltered. At least he didn’t sound shocked—or disgusted. Mostly, Fraser sounded a lot surprised and a lot confused.
“Yeah, this is my reaction to watching you,” Ray motioned towards his straining erection that seemed to like the warm water, Fraser’s close proximity, and being the object of a conversation. “I’m… I can’t help it. My body’s just… interested,” Ray finished. He hoped it was a good sign that Fraser was still standing behind him with his hand on his shoulder.
Said hand moved gently over the curve of Ray’s shoulder. “Is that a purely philosophical interest?” Fraser asked carefully. Ray chuckled. “Yes, Frase, a hard-on constantly gives me the urge to think. I’d call that physical evidence.”
Fraser cleared his throat. “And you would like me to… indulge… this interest of yours?” Fraser asked again with the voice of someone unsure if he was using a foreign dialect correctly.
Ray’s lips were suddenly dry despite the water still pelting down. He leaned back against Fraser, pressing his wet back against Fraser’s equally damp chest and heard Fraser’s startled intake of breath.
“Only if you want to,” Ray said quietly and rested more of his weight on Fraser. Strong fingers settled on Ray’s hip to pull him closer. A sudden shiver rippled through him as he felt Fraser’s erection press against his ass. Oh, Fraser wanted to alright. A tight coil of excitement and nervousness wound through Ray’s gut.
“Are you sure?” Fraser rasped out.
“Hell yeah,” Ray nodded and reached behind him to at least touch Fraser’s skin, feel that firm ass underneath his fingertips. A breathy moan stirred the sensitive skin behind Ray’s ear.
Fraser’s arm came around his chest and his fingers brushed droplets of water over Ray’s skin. Slowly his hand crept lower and Ray took a shuddering breath, feeling his stomach muscles quiver as Fraser’s fingers dipped lower. One hand settled on his hip and when the other just barely skimmed his erection Ray feared his heart would beat out of his chest any second now.
“Frase…” Ray whispered, terrified and aroused and Fraser closed his hand calmly around Ray’s cock and Ray couldn’t help the heartfelt moan that was wrung from his lips at the contact. He reached out with one hand to steady himself against the wall as Fraser’s hand began moving in earnest. Whoa, Fraser really knew what he was doing and Ray knew he shouldn’t be surprised by it.
“Oh god,” Ray rasped. Fraser’s grip was sure and firm, not at all the way most women did it.
Quick, almost lightning-quick, with sure, efficient strokes, Fraser brought Ray to the brink of orgasm and Ray gnashed his teeth not wanting this to be over already.
The silky wetness of Fraser’s hair brushed against Ray’s throat. Helplessly, Ray thrust his hips forward into Fraser’s hand, he was so close…
But right when he thought he couldn’t fight it off any longer Fraser’s hand gentled on him, going slower, teasing the crown with his thumb and Ray whimpered at being denied release after all.
Fraser’s hand moved lower, cupping Ray’s balls, holding them gently and Ray gasped. “God—”
Fraser really liked playing with his equipment that much was sure. His breath turned to steam against Ray’s cheek and his lips brushed Ray’s skin ever so softly and suddenly Ray needed to have this. He turned his head and reached up to pull Fraser’s face closer.
Fraser stole the groan right out of Ray’s mouth and, god, Fraser was kissing him. Ray probed deeper, aching for more, and in a flurry of motion Fraser had him turned around and pressed against the shockingly cold, damp tiles.
“Frase…” Ray gasped and his arms came up to hold Fraser close against him.
Fraser’s hand roamed over Ray’s body, smoothing over his stomach, his chest, and Fraser’s other hand found his nipple and pinched. Ray cried out, bucking against Fraser and drawing a hiss from him as their cocks touched. Weird, Ray thought for a second, before he changed his mind to mind-blowing when Fraser thrust back, rubbing in a maddening rhythm against him.
Fraser’s hand dropped back down to cup Ray’s cock, softly mixing the precome with the dripping water and Ray bit his lip to keep from shouting. He heard Fraser’s low moan, almost directly in his ear, and he hadn’t thought that Fraser getting off on this would turn him on this badly. Or that Fraser fed on Ray’s arousal as much as he did—because that much was really obvious. The barely contained moans were a dead give-away just how into this he was.
And he was rubbing against Ray, just a bit, just lightly, but it was the most exciting feeling Ray could think of.
“Get me off,” Ray gasped. “Please… god, Frase…”
Strong fingers pulled on his cock again and Fraser pressed harder against Ray, pushing him into the wall and the tiles had warmed up, they slid slippery and hot against his back and Fraser was plastered wet and aroused and strong against his front and Ray was pretty sure that he was losing his mind when Fraser’s mouth came back and his tongue begged for entrance.
“Ray,” Fraser moaned against Ray’s lips and Ray’s fingers tightened their grip as he shook with the sudden force of his climax. Fraser’s fingers gentled their grip as Ray continued to shake while he rode the crest and Fraser buried his face in the crook of Ray’s shoulder, sucking on the soft skin where neck met shoulder to stifle his moan as he came. Ray felt the come splatter his skin and Ray really regretted that he hadn’t seen Fraser’s face as he came.
Ray tried to get his breath back. This had been…. well… illuminating as Fraser would put it. Damn the consequences. Ray’s fingers moved into Fraser’s hair and he pulled him up, bringing their lips together again.
This kiss was nothing like the one they had faked at the club. God, no. This was messy, and wet, and urgent. Fraser’s strong arms held Ray close while he tried his best to find out what Fraser tasted like. It was the same open-mouthed, greedy kiss Ray had witnessed—the one he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about. And it was so much better to be participating in it instead of just watching.
“Ray,” Fraser gasped in between.
“Ray,” he repeated breathlessly. Ray figured talking was overrated.
“Ray, Ray, Ray—” Fraser chanted, trying to get a modicum of space between them.
“What?” Ray asked, irritated.
Fraser looked charmingly bewildered. The slightly dopey smile ruined the effect of his serious gaze a little. “We should talk,” Fraser said.
Had the water been turned to ice all of a sudden? Ray could feel his insides freezing. Nothing good ever came of talking… he supposed he should’ve anticipated this. God, he’d fucked up big time.
Gently, Fraser’s hands closed around Ray’s wrists. “Ray, we’ve just had sex in the communal showers at the station,” he said matter-of-factly and Ray choked back a sudden laugh. For the first time since this had started Ray really took in his surroundings. Holy fuck. Fraser was right.
They had just screwed in the police station. Where they worked. Where someone could’ve come in… granted, not very likely at this time of night, but not impossible. They had just had sex! Ray thought with a mixture of astonishment and panic. He and Fraser. Had sex. As in Ray had had sex with another guy. With his partner! For god’s sake. With Fraser!
Ray’s eyes widened comically and Fraser’s crooked tooth showed at the corner of his mouth as his lips stretched into a quirky half-smile. “I think we should talk about this,” Fraser repeated again and squeezed Ray’s hands gently before letting go.
Fraser didn’t look unhappy as he stepped back—though he did frown as he shut off the water. Ray supposed he had just made Fraser buy a ticket for a guilt trip to every country with problems of water shortage.
Automatically, Ray took the offered towel and began drying himself. He’d had sex with Fraser. Ray stared at his partner, the reality of it crashing into Ray with a feeling like vertigo. He noticed that Fraser was watching him, a contemplating look on his face. He didn’t look half as freaked out as Ray was beginning to feel or as Ray thought Fraser should feel. Ray offered him a small smile and Fraser relaxed a little.
They managed to get dressed and into the GTO without so much as another word to each other. Ray really didn’t know what he should say now they’d had sex. He supposed Fraser knew where the conversation should go and he would probably start at one point or another.
Ray was right. As soon as they reached his apartment Fraser sat him down on the couch and studied him for a moment.
“I’m a little surprised, Ray,” Fraser admitted.
Ray grinned. “Just a little, huh?”
“Well, yes, you see,” Fraser rubbed a knuckle over his eyebrow. “I hadn’t been aware that you were—” he debated which word to use, “curious.”
Ray shrugged. “I’ve never given it much thought until…”
“Until I told you that I believe human sexuality to be flexible,” Fraser finished dryly.
“Yeah,” Ray shrugged again.
Fraser frowned. “So you realized you were curious and that I was…. safe?” He asked carefully.
‘Safe,’ Ray thought, that was a good word. Partners, trust, caring… all those things had made Fraser a safe bet for experimentation. It just wasn’t the reason. Wasn’t like Ray had suddenly noticed he was into guys and thought Fraser was a good way to find out for sure. Rather he had suddenly realized he was into Fraser and thought he wanted some.
“Yeah but not like that… it was…” Ray gestured aimlessly around the room hoping his hands would find the right words in the empty space around him. “It was just you, okay? I was thinking about you and I got… yeah, I got curious.”
Fraser nodded and sat even straighter. “I see,” he replied. Nothing good ever came of it when Fraser said that.
“I take it that your curiosity is now satisfied,” Fraser said stoically. He was hurt and Ray cursed himself because this was all wrong. Looking at it from Fraser’s perspective this sounded a lot as if Ray had just used him—and it wasn’t like that.
Ray’s hands tightened on his thighs, feeling the coarse denim underneath his palms. “No, it isn’t.”
Fraser looked up at him then and he wore that puzzled look again that Ray recognized from back in the shower. Ray found he liked putting that look on his face.
“I’d kinda like to do it again,” Ray admitted, fighting to keep the blush down.
Fraser stared at him. This, apparently, wasn’t an answer he had anticipated to hear.
“I’m…” Fraser stopped again and licked his lips. “I’m afraid I’m still confused,” he explained.
Ray smiled at that. “Don’t wait for pointers from me, buddy. I have no idea either. Question is…” God, he was nervous. And Fraser was sitting there, looking all earnest.
“Do you want to?” Ray met Fraser’s gaze head-on.
Fraser looked absolutely rooted to the spot. Hurriedly, Ray moved on to explain himself. Hoping that whatever had Fraser thinking could be brushed aside in his favor. “I know I don’t have the faintest idea what I’m doing and I’ll probably need a few pointers, but I, uhm, I’d like to do it again… with you.”
“I don’t know if that is such a good idea, Ray”, Fraser’s voice was more of a whisper.
It hit like a blow even though Ray had already known that he wasn’t Fraser’s favored choice. But he had already gone too far out of the window to climb back in now.
“I’m not asking you to fuck me in the supply closet.” Ray exclaimed hotly. Heat washed over Ray’s face. Here he was, 36 years old, and talking about getting it on with another man. This was… weird. Mostly weird.
“I just want to know what it’s like,” Ray said quietly. Yeah, I want to know what it’s like to be the sole object of your attention, I want to know what it’s like when you let go, I want to know what it’s like to be touched by you, Ray thought but didn’t say. “And I want you to show me,” Ray added instead.
“All right,” Fraser said quietly and it caught Ray off-guard, again, to be reminded that Fraser had had sex with other men on his free nights, when the lights at the Consulate were off.
Ray stared at his partner. Fraser looked lost in thought. Wherever he had dragged this answer from it must’ve been a complicated process.
Fraser smiled at him as if he were a bit slow.
“After a good night’s sleep when you’ve had time to think about it, obviously.”
Ray’s face fell. “You think this is some sort of adrenaline craze, right?”
“I’m not claiming anything. I simply don’t want you to regret anything.”
“I won’t,” Ray replied petulantly, wringing a small smile from Fraser.
“Then you will still want to tomorrow.”
“Good.” Fraser’s eyes sparkled good-naturedly. “I would avail myself of your couch again if you have no objections.”
Ray deflated a little. “Sure, go ahead. I’ll be in my bed then.”
“Have a good night, Ray.”
Despite Ray’s best efforts to stay awake and think things through he fell asleep almost the moment his head touched the pillow.
He was startled awake by a feeling of panic and shock quite early in the morning. Heart racing, Ray took in his surroundings.
His own apartment, check. His own bed, check. Alone, check. Ray took a deep breath. He had sex. With Fraser. With a man… though he didn’t know which fact was more shocking.
Ray replayed the scene in the shower again in his mind’s eye. He smiled. He had sex with Fraser.
Ray wasn’t very good at thinking about things, he was better if he could get a hands-on approach. Stealthily, Ray climbed out of bed and shuffled out of the door. Fraser was still sleeping on the couch—a first, but it seemed to be a good day for those.
He drew closer and settled down on the floor at the foot of the couch. For a few minutes, Ray simply watched him sleep. He ached with tenderness when he saw Fraser like that; unprotected, vulnerable, pliable. When he slept— at least when he entered the level of deep sleep, not that corpse-like posture he usually fell asleep in— it was hard to imagine him in full uniform. Sleeping, he was just Fraser. Just Ben.
Ray reached out— knowing that this was probably one hell of a bad idea, but Fraser had forgiven him for worse errors in judgment. Gently, he settled his hand on Fraser’s thigh on top of the blanket. Slowly, his hand glided down to Fraser’s knee and up again.
Ray bit his lip and leaned forward a little so that he could reach Fraser’s waist. Again, Ray’s hand set out on a journey, over the soft material of Fraser’s undershirt, up his side and down his stomach where a sliver of skin was showing. Tentatively, Ray’s fingers stroked that patch of skin. It was warm and soft and Ray’s hand crept the tiniest bit below the fabric of the shirt.
Fraser stirred then and blinked slowly awake. Dark eyes looked at Ray, slightly unfocused with sleep, and Fraser’s pink tongue darted out for an instant, wetting his lips while he raised himself up on his elbows to meet Ray’s gaze.
“Ray.” Fraser’s voice was questioning and it was slightly hoarse from disuse during the night.
Ray’s fingers had frozen in place, but they resumed their slow caress now, slipping further up Fraser’s stomach.
“You said in the morning… if I still wanted to…” His fingers stole their way down, encountering the downy hairs that trailed down from Fraser’s bellybutton and Fraser took a surprised breath.
“Yes, I—yes,” Fraser murmured as Ray playfully stroked along the elastic of the boxer briefs.
Ray bit his lip and fit his palm over Fraser’s growing erection, just holding him. Fraser sighed and he dropped back down on his back in most un-Mountie-like fashion.
Growing bolder, Ray tightened his hold, lightly squeezing Fraser through the fabric and he was rewarded with Fraser’s accelerated breathing. Ray rubbed firmly, causing Fraser’s hips to come up to meet him, and then Ray’s hand trailed down, dipping between Fraser’s legs who let them fall open easily, giving Ray access to whatever he wanted to explore.
Gently, Ray held Fraser’s testicles until he saw Fraser trying to thrust against him. Ray’s fingers zeroed in on the tell-tale wet spot that was spreading rapidly and Fraser choked on a sob when Ray mapped out the rim, right underneath the gland. “Ray…”
Ray had only heard him once like that, open and needy, yesterday in the shower. His heart was beating rapidly as Ray eased down Fraser’s shorts. No chickening out now, Ray told himself.
Fraser gasped and pushed into Ray’s hand and Ray tried to figure out the angle. It was easier than he had imagined. It felt silky and hot in his hand and he knew exactly what Fraser was feeling right at this very moment.
Ray grinned and gave it a tug and was rewarded by an urgent moan. Oh yeah, he could get behind this.
He climbed up on the couch and settled over Fraser’s legs. Fraser’s chest was flushed and his dark hair curled over his forehead. Ray sped up his hand and leaned down. He touched his lips to Fraser’s chest and felt Fraser’s hands suddenly in his hair.
Ray used one hand to brace himself next to Fraser’s shoulder and sought his mouth and he couldn’t get over the fact of how eagerly Fraser met him or what a turn-on it was reducing Fraser to this panting mess.
Ray pumped his hand in quick succession and Fraser strained against the couch, gasping open-mouthed as his hips jerked and he spilled all over Ray’s hand.
Slowly, Fraser licked his lips and opened his eyes to look at Ray.
Ray had no idea what kind of picture he presented, sitting more or less on Fraser’s legs, aroused beyond belief, and his hand covered in come that wasn’t his own.
Fraser raised himself up and his hands came up to hold Ray. The kiss was languid and slow and when Fraser pulled away he murmured, “Do you want my mouth on you?”
“I— Jesus…” Ray’s cock throbbed at the mere thought and Fraser reached down and felt him twitch.
“Oh god,” Ray moaned and lifted up so that Fraser could extricate himself. Fraser pushed him over and immediately attached his mouth to the nearest spot of skin he could find.
Ray was lost. He didn’t stand a chance. Fraser was the guy who put anything in his mouth—and this was apparently something he liked putting into his mouth so Ray was rendered inarticulate from the get go.
“Oh—I—Frase—” Ray babbled senselessly. Fraser’s mouth was hot and wet and not at all shy or hesitant. Stella had always tried not to be too messy and with all blowjobs Ray had ever gotten the women had been careful not to get choked.
“Oh god…” Fraser seemed to have no such fears. He simply seemed to love sucking cock, the more he could fit in, the better.
Helpless, Ray’s fingers scrabbled for a purchase and found a place in Fraser’s hair to hold on to. The first tremor rocked him and Ray tugged on Fraser’s hair. “Frase… Ben… I’m going to—”
Like a vice, Fraser’s fingers clamped around the base of Ray’s cock to prevent him from coming and he pulled his mouth off.
Ray whimpered softly and then Fraser’s face was right above his.
“You can’t make me do anything I don’t want to, Ray,” Fraser said in a low voice. “You don’t have to be careful.” He slowly stroked Ray’s erection and Ray bit back a moan.
“Please… your mouth…” Ray gasped and he saw a flash of a smile flit over Fraser’s face before he dipped his head again.
“Ahh,” Ray cried out as Fraser’s mouth enveloped him once again. Ray held Fraser’s head close and when he came, Fraser tightened his mouth on him and swallowed.
Fraser raised a hand to catch a drop that he had missed at the corner of his mouth before his dark eyes focused on Ray once more. He raised himself up a little to lie down next to Ray.
Ray closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath. “I think,” he licked his dry lips. I think I love you. “That was the best blowjob of my life.”
Fraser seemed amused. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
Ray shook his head and chuckled. “‘Enjoyed it’ is the understatement of the year.”
Fraser looked at his watch and his eyes turned serious. “I need to get to work.”
“What?” Ray scrubbed a hand over his face, trying to wake up.
“I’ve only taken half the day off. I saw no reason why I shouldn’t go in once I had rested a little.”
Ray sighed. Fraser brought the same dedication to his undercover assignments that he did for standard duty.
“And we still haven’t found a definite connection between the Skydeep and the company of Mr. Meissner.”
“Yeah… you’re right.”
Fraser showered and then hesitated when he reached for the door. “I—thank you for… thank you, Ray.”
Bewildered, Ray shook his head. “If anyone’s got to say ‘thanks’ it’s me, Frase. Pleasure was all mine,” he winked.
Fraser smiled. “I would say the pleasure was mutual.”
“Yeah,” Ray smiled back. “It was.”
Ray headed for a shower himself. They had never gotten around to writing their report the night before. Ray’s face burned… yes, because they had been too busy fucking in the shower.
God, he was so screwed. His best friend, his partner… and a man. Somehow that last bit didn’t seem quite as important as the rest. Probably because Ray didn’t think he was gay now… though jerking a guy off had to be pretty gay on the scale. But it was just Fraser who made him think gay things, that had to count for something.
So Ray went to the station to get the paperwork done. He wanted this done by the book so that when the time came there was no loophole that any attorney could abuse to get his client off the hook. Then Ray went to talk strategy with Welsh. He relayed the information they had gathered and Welsh nodded gravely.
“To be frank, Detective, I feel like raiding the whole mess they call a club.”
“Except then you don’t get to nail them on anything real.”
Welsh sighed. “So, what do you propose?”
Ray shrugged, not altogether happy. “Fraser’s trying to find some proof that the company runs the drug business at the club. I’ll try to find a few of the men that went missing for a night and see what I can get out of them, maybe one of them would be willing to testify against them. Until we find that evidence we’ll try not to tip our hand. Fraser thinks that they would clear the place out if they knew we were on to them.”
“He’s probably right. Okay, I have your backs on this. But, Detective, you be careful out there and you get that evidence.”
Ray tipped his non-existent hat. “Will do, Lieu.”
Finding someone was easier said than done. Fraser had mostly gotten first names of the men and Ray tried not to think about the fact that Fraser didn’t need last names from the men he met. And since they all had shown up again sometime the next day there were no missing person files on any of them.
He sifted through newspaper clippings, looking for any sort of report, maybe of someone found wandering around on their own in the early hours of the morning, anything about the Skydeep, but it was slow work.
The next day, Ray went for a more active approach. The gay community was the prime example that the world was a goddamn village, everybody knew everyone else. Ray figured, if he went back to the friends of the men who died from an overdose chances were that one of them knew someone whose friend had gone missing for a night.
When Ray could finally collapse on his couch that evening he was beat. He felt like he had run all over Chicago talking to people. At least he had a list with names now and even if a few of them had been simple drunk accidents where someone had gotten separated from his friends there was bound to be a victim on that list.
A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. Ray dragged his ass off the couch and opened it.
“Good evening, Ray. The door downstairs was ajar; I hope you don’t mind…” Fraser explained, rubbing at his eyebrow.
“It’s good to see you,” Ray said, a smile spreading over his tired face.
“And you, too,” Ray amended when he caught the shock of white fur half hidden behind Fraser. Dief grumbled and Ray’s smile widened into a grin. When had this become his life?
Fraser got him up-to-date over an order of Thai food.
“I claimed having to check something with one of the bills to get access to the books.”
“Fraser, you lied,” Ray exclaimed delighted. “You’re learning.”
Fraser pulled at his collar. “Well, it isn’t a skill I am very proud of, but I didn’t see an alternative.”
“So what did you find out?”
“I was hoping to find some reference to Push. I didn’t find it, but I found more claims for the Skydeep.” Fraser reached for his hat and pulled a piece of paper out. “This is a list of the dates. Do you think you could check if they coincided with VIP visits? This might in fact be how they entertain certain executive managers.”
“Sure, I’ll ask Jack.” Ray pocketed the note. “So what do we do about the drugs? I mean I’ll try getting those witness statements, but there has to be a paper trail, right? Shipments, transport, there has to be some kind of written statement for us to find.”
“I agree. I’ll keep looking. It might be hidden with other regular shipments… or I am looking in the wrong place,” Fraser looked thoughtful for a second. “It’s rather late,” he said slowly. “Thank you for your hospitality, Ray. I think we’ll go now.”
Ray didn’t want him to go and he didn’t want to act as if nothing had happened between them. Only yesterday morning, Ray had had Fraser flushed with arousal and gasping his name. No, it was too soon to be over already.
He tried to come up with the right words to say, but Fraser was already at the door, Dief hot on his heels. Fraser reached for the door handle and Ray reacted on a gut feeling and placed his hand flat on the door.
Surprised, Fraser looked at Ray. “Ray?”
“Listen, you can go home to your bed and sleep… or you can stay and teach me how to blow you.” Ray’s voice was low and his stomach was fluttering nervously.
Fraser made a wild noise in the back of his throat. “Dief,” he said quietly, without taking his eyes off Ray. “Would you please excuse us?”
Dief’s whine sounded long-suffering, but he sauntered into the kitchen anyway
It seemed that with Fraser Ray couldn’t be gay enough. And it wasn’t just the thought of sucking him off that made desire coil at the base of his spine. It was the thought of being naked with him, feeling him… making love to him. Damn… Ray simply knew him too well not to fall in love with him. Because Fraser was smart and funny, in his own wacky way, and he was brave and just about the best guy Ray had ever met.